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How to Use Victorian Etiquette to Start Engaging Conversations with Strangers

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How to Start Engaging Conversations with Strangers in Environments of Your Choice


Fiction: Novels

Mystery, Intrigue, Romance, Time-Travel, Historical, Mainstream, & Adventure Novels Currently in Paperback

How to Start Engaging Conversations on Women's, Men's, or Family Studies with Wealthy Strangers: A Thriller. ISBN: 978-0-595-44407-6 (0-595-44407-5)

How Would You Start Engaging Conversations with Wealthy Strangers?


How to Start Engaging Conversations on Women's, Men's, or Family Studies with Wealthy Strangers: A Thriller

Publisher's price: $22.95
Format: Paperback
Size: 6 x 9
Pages: 402
ISBN: 0-595-44407-5
Published: Apr-2007

ASJA Press, 1-800-AUTHORS
International orders:
Call 00-1-402-323-7800
Family wars had become race wars. Skip an octave, and escalate to an international war between neighbors. Old hatreds fanned flames between haves and have-nots.
Book Description
Sicilian-American Women’s, Men’s, and Family Studies Professor, psychoanalyst, and night radio talk show personality, Anna Falco’s dad always told her that the lower our self esteem, the more we want to be someone different from ourselves, and the more we want someone different from ourselves. He made a point that the higher our self esteem, the more we want someone like ourselves.

Anna Falco added something more to that: her belief that couples with self-respect will respect each other. Not one of Anna’s clients came from families where the husband and wife or child and parent respected one another. That could be one huge reason why family wars grew into world wars.

Now family wars had become full-blown race wars in the streets of Los Angeles. Skip an octave, and old hatreds of differences fanned flames between the ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots.’

She offered to trade the wisdom of age for the energy of youth. But it all boiled down to honor between family members. Anna explained the difference between self-esteem and self-respect.

Being an older woman reminded Wrenboy (the troubled court-appointed street teen that she had adopted) of a mother hen capable of caging his freedom. Her lined face reminded him of his own mortality at a time when he felt invincible and desperately lonely for a loving family.

Would he fear her strident voice hammering him back into childhood? Or would he accept her globetrotting to repair the world with kindness? In his search for power and autonomy, he concluded it is easier to rebel.

How to Start Real Life Engaging Conversations with Strangers

I start all my travel conversations with strangers in various environments mostly on topics related to art, architecture, history, food, or music. It breaks the ice immediately. Being a non-driver over age 66 traveling alone, what I like most about starting conversations about a work of art, music, a building, food, or a book allows me to point to the lovely fresco on the wall of a hotel at a conference or convention and remark, "Doesn't that look like Renaissance art?" It works well at conventions to mention something about the hotel decor. Since I can't fly due to intermittent vertigo, when I take short train or bus rides, I can comment on some form of decor or scenery, such as a bridge, river, ocean, or height of tall redwood trees on a tour. 

Before I go to a place I read up on the landmarks and start a conversation related to the landmarks or landmark history, flora, art, music, or other events in the destination or anything related to trivia, history, and travel lore of the area or environment I'm in, even some history (pleasant). To start off conversations, I carry a little paperback book called The Essential Handbook of Victorian Entertaining or The Essential Handbook of Victorian Etiquette. I follow the instructions on starting a polite conversation that was in fashion in Victorian times from the mid 19th century to the turn of the 20th century. 

Politeness is ageless. I talk about the famous green tea served in certain places in my destination, mention good places to eat that are reasonable, or ask a question about something in the environment related to art, architecture, history, music, history, or food such as mentioning good places to eat in the destination that I've researched in travel guides before starting my travel. Anything you read mentioned in travel guides may be used to start conversation. I never get into negative subjects, religion, politics, or anything heavy. I talk about art history, musical events, or even the history of those abandoned ghost towns or former mining towns and scenic spots to see, or continue the talk on good places to stay and the type of interior decor--such as all wood or log interiors, spas, or events at the destination. 

If someone asks what I do, I say I'm retired, but that I still write about music listening as a healing tool for de-stressing and that if one listens to music played at 60 beats per minute on a metronome, one's parasympathetic nervous system relaxes and that calming branch takes over helping to relieve stress so people can unwind after travel. I smile a lot and focus on my basic optimism. My conversation starts off on the nurturing side as a healer in a light, non-threatening way. My goal is to start a conversation with strangers as a "light-worker" in the sense of bringing optimism into the conversation by using talk as a healing tool to inspire, motivate, or relax and make people feel calm and "at home" away from familiar surroundings. 

That's why I wrote the humorous adventure/travel novel on conversations that's also a suspense novel titled How to Start Engaging Conversations on Women's, Men's, or Family History Studies with Wealthy Strangers."(ASJA Press 2007, ISBN 978-0-595-44407-6) or the same theme time-travel novel set in 150 BCE in ancient Rome called Proper Parenting in Ancient Rome, (ASJA Press 2007) all focused on how to start polite, engaging conversations with strangers. 

What I use are the books on Victorian etiquette and entertaining that are light weight and I can carry in my tote bag when I travel and sometimes a Thesaurus. When I start conversations with a thesaurus, or "The Quintessential Dictionary," I use these words to start a conversation and break the ice with total strangers. "Gee, did you know that the word quintessential means the most perfect, purest idea?"  

Then I open my book and mention only three words, no more...."Lambent is an adjective meaning playing gracefully over a surface"...How about that...I wonder whether I can use the adverb 'lambently' as in I lambently play the piano? Or should I use lambency as a noun as in: 'my acrylic paintings are lambent and gentle seascapes'?" These ice-breakers always work well to start engaging conversations with strangers in a hotel lobby, a museum, theater, or on a train or bus. I don't travel much, can't fly due to intermittent vertigo, don't drive, and once a year take a train or bus ride. So when I see a stranger, I try to make polite conversation that engages and holds interest even on day trip tours for senior citizens as well as when I travel alone. (I used to teach effective public speaking and writing courses online for a university and have uploaded a 12-minute video on "effective public speaking techniques" uploaded to Google Video. 

Try selecting Victorian etiquette snippets, as ways to start light, but engaging conversation with strangers. Usually it works great. As the author of 80+ published books, it works better than talking about my research to someone I’ve just met in transit or at a convention or resort. It's far more attention-focusing to say: "Now, I know that word, but what does it mean?" than to ask intrusive questions or gab about my own work. My goal in conversation is to make the other party feel calm and at home in my presence.

See my thriller (novel) inspired by my outline for a story about a gal who uses Victorian and continental etiquette to meet strangers which eventually turned into a thriller titled, How to Start Engaging Conversations on Women's Men's, or Family Studies with Wealthy Strangers. (ASJA Press, April 2007.)  

I found in my personal use when meeting strangers, that everyone I meet is interested in talking about Victorian etiquette, and it is my primary ice breaker when beginning a conversation with any new people I meet in public places such as in transit or at a convention or in a recreational setting. Victorian talk is lots of fun. That's why a lot of people call me somewhat of a "Miss Manners or Etiquette Stereotype." It's great to know how a little Victorian etiquette in entertaining or easy-to-understand common sense as acts of kindness go a long way among strangers.

Should you talk to strangers in the first place? How do you meet new people that share your hobbies, interests, or work? And how do you start conversations with those you want to talk to in the environments of your choice?





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Do You Have the Aptitude & Personality to Be A Popular Author? Professional Creative Writing Assessments By Anne Hart Format: Paperback Pages: 264 Size: 5x8. ISBN: 9781440125201